Could Brian Boitano Be Any More Gay?

OH MY GOSH! I have just watched the “bacon” episode of Food Network’s new show, “What would Brian Boitano Make?”, and this is the gayest thing I have ever seen on TV short of “Ru Paul’s Drag Race”.

Except that it’s not Gay. Or straight, either. Allegedly, at least. No mention of boyfriends, girlfriends, partners, significant others, or kissing. Yep, a show about an apparently single guy, living in San Francisco, who throws great parties for his friends, but is seeing no one. Riiight.

Don’t get me wrong, however. Brian is hugely entertaining (though the Admiral doesn’t agree on this point). It’s just that the show is very over-the-top. From his dream sequence about skating with the roller girls while wearing a sequined ice skating outfit, to the description of a food item as, “puffy deliciousness”, to the stereotypical, “Hell-OOOO-oooo!” speechisms, Brian sure, ummm, SEEMS Gay.

And that’s okay. Really. You go, girl!

It’s just that, despite the obvious, Food Network won’t let anyone from the Gay press near him. They don’t want the show to be about his “personal life”. This is somewhat at odds with the actual show, however, given that it’s filmed in his house and about his friends. I find this inconsistency bothersome. I mean, like, if Brian is not Gay then I will burn my Evil Biker Lesbian membership card.

So what’s to hide? Is FN that scared of having one show that has an openly Gay character? He could be their version of Ellen: Sexless Gay Guy. Admitting but not showing. It hasn’t hurt her, so what does FN have to lose?

Heck, having Brian come out might actually boost Food Network’s sagging credibility. Just a thought.